So i did eat

.. not sure how much. I was too cold this morning to weigh myself. I broke my fast yesterday afternoon. I have to go to bed, but i can not figure out how to get the pictures attached from my desktop to my blog =o Help anyone?

133!

Thats right i am 133! I have lost 6 lbs in 4ish days and it really makes me quite happy! =D I have had no solid food other then literally a taste (30 grams) of my dads homemade pumpkin pie and that was yummy =) I had some honey too, but i dont know if that counts. I only had a very small amount. I am starting to wonder why i even eat at all anyhow! Gum is a lifesaver and my favs are the EXTRA ones that taste like desert because when im craving something sweet it works =). OR i will have a spoon of splenda. I did have a little powdered creamer in my coffee this morning but i am quite proud of my self =) I am proud of myself!

I had the weirdest dream last night after i finally fell asleep..it was my sisters 14th bday and i was eating all of her cake. I woke of freaked out that i would gain weight.....then when i realized it was jsut i dream you have no idea how thankful i was. Seriously.

I have a research paper due so i have to go, but i would really love to hear from you guys on how you guys are doing so please email or comment! =)

lots of luv!
~Kelsey

↑ anything is better then actually eating it

Im back!!

So sorry life has been hectic lately-and i have not had the chance to blog =) Here are my excuses:
1) best friend who i have not seen in 4 years came back to visit
2) I preformed in my dance shows
3) i have had hardly any time
4) i was binge eating.

But no more. Im on my second day of the master cleanse-if you dont know what that is http://themastercleanse.org/, it lemons, maple syrup (i use sugar free as it has 20 cals instead of the regular 220), and pepper. Not bad really and i am now dancing from 2- 9:15 straight on Thursdays and so i hope that is helping. I have gained weight the past month and last night after i had already had loads to drink i was a fricking 139 ( shoot me) and an hour ago i was 137, so some progress has been made. I plan to stay on this cleanse till thanksgiving where i will be eating only a little bit. But already i feel so much better! I am going to take a picture every night so by the end of the week my progress will be officially documented. =)

luv you all
~Nicole

I hope you all are doing good- stay strong ladies!!

Here is some thinspo =)

Idea...

So I have this inspiration to take a picture of me in my fat everyday, and hopefully it will be motivating....today was not a very good day- had pasta, a cookie, some malt balls....ugh ugh ugh. Im going to try to liquid fast the next 2-3 days to clean my system... debating putting before and after pics up when im done...I know im really FAT right now, but im about to have some laxitives and im going to do a ab work out and see how it goes =)

luv you all! ♥
~Kelsey

--btw i have red hair so this is some of what i WISH i looked like... ='(

=)

So i have to be fast, but when i woke up the next morning, i was 133!!!! YAY!!!! but I have eaten normally (had a slice of pizza-its crap i know but it would have been awkward if i didnt) and other things.... feeling fat right now, but im going for a liquid fast tomorrow, and ill see what happens . Good luck ladies =)

Much better =)

I have fasted today-purty good! i weighed myself when i got back from dance today and (after having 2 litters of diet coke and lots of water, and i was only 135!!! it is still alot, but after my horrible binging episodes earlier this week im quite shocked!!! yay!!!!

How true this is!!!!

Sorry

Im sorry i have not posted. Sorry i have binged. Sorry im a freaking fat cow who can not be good. Im just a sorry mess. I have done nothing but binge and take laxatives all week and it has been really bad. And of course my dance studio had photo shoots for team this week and i look like a fat ass in them =P oh well. Im going for a fast tomorrow and i will let you know how it goes...
Am I the only one that gets triggered by breakfast cereals?! I am freaking obsessed with them! And they are so hi cal ='( I wish i was skinny. oh how i wish i was skinny.... So yeah i need to clean my system and not eat whatever the heck i want to. I need to be in control. I need to find time to work out. Dance doesn't count.
I feel like a failure right now.

On the bright side i got an A on my health test! yay!! I have the second part of my history exam on tuesday, and a math test, and I have a paper i am working on (my parents think that is what i am doing right now) due monday. One thing i am excited for is my healthy 2 day eating plan. Its at http://www.choosemyplate.gov/myplate/index.aspx and I am really excited to do it! My problem is i was not putting enough calories, but for my age/weight/exercise level/height i should have 2,400 calories!!!! what a joke!!!! =P Took me forever to find even 1,000 calories that met all the requirements. 
I am so scared to weigh myself but i promise i will on monday, and i will tell you. How I hope it is not 140.....

I will hopefully have a more positive post next time. Stay strong ladies!!

132.5!!!

Hello lovely people =) I weighed myself and i was 133.5 this morning and when i got back from dance I was 132.5! i lost a pound! I had some crazins, 4 egg whites, a slice of pizza (i ALMOST didnt eat it but t caved =P) some dried mango. Not sure how much but probably too much.

Im sure i will be more in the morning ='( anything would be better then what i have been in the past.... i really HOPE not


The other night i was talking to my little sister (almost 13) about different stuff from my health class, and she wanted to start to be healthy and so she has stated working out and is really careful about calories and what she eats...makes me wonder if she is getting that from me ore if she is getting an eating disorder too...she only had a tomato this morning and i woke up to my mom upset that she wouldn't eat a waffle (i talked her into saying that it wasnt that bad), saying "i will not let you get an eating disorder!" i wonder what would happen if she really knew what i eat....

Thinspo for you all :

Good day today!!!!

I am very sorry that my first post was so negative, but im here to be positive and give an update! I am actually 135 lbs, not 138 like i thought! =D YAY!!!! Still a long ways off, but i feel better =) My ultimate goal is 110 and so i only have 25 lbs to go =PP

so my food today (no laxatives today, giving my digestive system a break):

2 calcium chews 20 cal

rasins/crazins probably 200 cal =/

cup of lettuce w/splenda and lemon juice 20 cal

1/2 can tuna with BBQ sauce 80 cal

1 see's candy 80 cal =P

2 cat crackers 20 cal

a little milk in my coffee 30 cal

total = 450 ish. And i danced 6 hours today ♥

not bad =)

Just to clarify i am NOT able to throw up but i am quite fond of laxatives and exercise. But i am giving my body a break. I think i did ok on my health exam. Not sure yet.

I was just thinking how easy it is to give up, give up on yourself, on your body, but YOU are the one in charge, and you just need to teach your body who is boss. Even when you screw up its ok because there is tomorrow to get back on track. Stay strong! Here is some thinspo for you all =)

This is what i wish i looked like ↑

i want these legs!

perfection